Any time I’m depressed I tend to go through my life and attempt some sort of self reflection. Regardless of depression or not I feel that this is something important that we should all do at some point or another. We need to know that we’re okay. We need to discover what is bothering us and be able to pinpoint it. If we don’t then this delays us in being able to develop and find coping mechanisms that work for us in order to help us move forward in life. So while I am marching forward and making myself get out of bed each morning I found myself thinking I probably need to go see a therapist. Even though typing out my last entry helped me tremendously, and others which makes me happy but sad others know this pain at the same time, I feel I need more help than just writing it out.Continue reading “Self Reflection is Needed for Everyone”
Lately I feel like I’m not getting enough rest. I went through a period where I wasn’t taking care of myself. Even after talking with my doctor this past July I neglected taking some of my pills. I noticed that I had an influx of pills I had not bothered with and ultimately I think it has affected me far more than not. I should have been to see the doctor again by now but I still have enough pills for one more month. I basically took them on and off so I have about a month and a half worth of pills more than I should have by now. I am thinking of making an appointment for the 29th of this month regardless or at least getting my blood drawn so the following week I can go have an actual appointment.Continue reading “Realities of Depression with a Side of Anxiety”
I feel like I ghosted my own site for a couple of days last week. My apologies to all of you. That is mostly due to letting a text I received earlier in the week get to me in ways I never wanted something to affect me. Feeling vulnerable is not easy. People make feeling vulnerable out to be this easy task, but the truth is it’s not. I did not want to speak about the majority of how I felt because admitting those feelings made them true. But the truth is as good as I was feeling, just like that I felt worthless all over again. I felt, and continue to feel, as if I’m not good enough in certain areas of my life. People’s words are far more degrading and condensing than they might intend for them to be and the receiver is often left wondering how to take them. We are left being told that everything will be okay ultimately because the same person who just made us feel this way says so. If only.
I’m not sure why, but for as long as I can remember when upset there is one artist I tend to listen to. I know that most people will assume that artist is Garth Brooks, but oddly enough no. Yes, every now and then there is a combination of the artist I plan on writing about with Garth and others, but the music I always listen to when upset is Alan Jackson. Why? I have no idea. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, but something I remember my mom realizing and pointing out to me once upon a time. I feel oddly better afterward, typically, and as if all of the sadness I’ve been feeling has been sucked from my body and tossed aside. Hopefully not to someone else, but aside nonetheless. Continue reading “Anxiety is a crippling asshole”
I feel like I’ve gone through lulls in my life. Lulls of sickness. I remember a lovely time period, my twenties, where I got sick maybe once a year if that. Other than the time I got the flu I had a great recovery time. Now, I’m not naive in thinking that we still have that amazing recovery time that we did when we were younger. Continue reading “Germs and depression go away, never come back again another day”