2019 was an odd year. Literally. In hindsight, I think shortly after all the fantastic things I did in July, I went through what I call a mini depression. I was also painfully burnout, and I found myself highly unmotivated. I think we all have lulls in life. 2019 included dealing with ten years since my mom’s passing. I always thought I’d be elsewhere doing something fabulous at thirty-five. Yet not so much. Yet, I never sat down to take into account life was not so bad.Continue reading “Each year should produce a better you”
When the Me Too movement started I knew I wanted to write something. It has taken me this long to truly collect my thoughts. Unfortunately, I don’t know many women who cannot say that phrase. We all have dealt with objectification to unwanted advances over the years. We all have a story to tell. There should not be a time limit on that story if it’s one with no resolve. I say this because over the years society has created a stigma when it comes to saying anything to anyone for fear they would have to face a trial.
A couple of years back I had a guy make me feel so uncomfortable I bought a whole new wardrobe. I knew he wasn’t going away anytime soon so instead of continually confronting him I bought new clothes. I bought clothes that kept me super covered up. I no longer wanted to lose weight because I had gained attention I didn’t want. What hurts the worst though was feeling like I wasn’t supposed to be upset by the remarks made about my body. I had to navigate the awkwardness and the many times I caught this man staring at me.
I’m not giving a name in this case because thankfully I no longer have to worry about this man. He is no longer in my life, but he caused many issues and arguments in my world for a very long time. And unfortunately, we live in a world where it is up to us sometimes to find alternative ways to avoid people. Instead of merely addressing the issue, have that person respect how we feel, we have to go out of our way not to be alone with that person. Not to even be near that person in a group setting.
I bring the latter part up because when we are around others and the person who has crossed that line we are left explaining why anger is there. We have to explain why we have taken ourselves out of the situation and not blow it up into something more. I know this because I have a friend who has faced this fear and feelings for some time now. She has not even wanted to go to HR about it because she has learned women who go to HR get passed over for promotions. Women also get deemed trouble makers who go to HR.
What? Isn’t that the whole point of HR? We are supposed to be able to go to someone. Men and women alike if something is happening that has crossed that line. If someone continually makes you uncomfortable by posing a hypothetical about a desert island with you and sex in the workplace, you should have someone to go to. We should not have to endure hearing I wish I had a picture of you in your car so I can look at it all the time. We should be able to voice our concerns.
Honestly, it shouldn’t be that hard. It really shouldn’t, but for some reason or another people have gotten to the point where it’s like well, I’m comfortable and it’s all about my comfort. No, no it’s really not. Is your life all about you? Yes to a certain degree. You have the right and responsibility to take care of yourself first so you can help others when needed, but to continue making someone uncomfortable after they have actually made it clear or gone out of their way to avoid you….like just fucking stop.
Don’t be that person. Do not continually make remarks. Do not make it about you. Just accept you’ve messed up and apologized. Don’t do it again. Boys will not be boys. Some boys will be whatever they can get away with. Some boys will continue getting away with it because their privilege allows it. There’s such a thing as white privilege, but there’s also a thing known as male privilege. As long as there continues to be a hierarchy where women are lesser than, we much continue to fight for what is right and what is wrong.
If a woman is treating you this way then you as a man need to say something too. You don’t deserve to have anyone treat you like that either. No one deserves to feel uncomfortable in their own skin. No one deserves to feel uncomfortable in their own home. No one deserves to be uncomfortable while working. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE. Period. Trust me when I say our body language reveals that uncomfort. You’ll always know, but it’s your choice to be better than that by looking in the mirror and making that change.
Let me start out by saying that by not taking my allergy pill for one day left me all sorts of exhausted. I mean it was ridiculous. I came home Monday and slept until almost eight in the evening. I meant to lay down for like a couple of minutes tops before my cat laid with me and we went to night night land together. This cat is normally close to me, and almost always sleeps in my bed, but this weekend especially she has been all about me, which makes me think my body is finally all, “You getting sick heffer…DEAL WITH IT.” I’m over here still very, “NOPE. NOT HAPPENING. DEUCES!”Continue reading “A Weird Dream Featuring Constantine”
After watching the movie Selena when I was younger I thought it would be absolutely okay to walk around in pants and a bra. It just made sense to me. I still had closed on as my boobs had a top on them and I was cooler suddenly. My mother and I got into many arguments as to why it was not appropriate to walk around like that around my father to which I explained it was like walking around in a bikini top. She of course countered with that I didn’t wear bikinis to swim. I still thought this was crap at the time and still do in a way.Continue reading “Selena Knew How to Keep Cool”
I remember seeing a meme that reminded women to fix the crowns of other women without telling them. This is always something that has stood out to me. I could not help but think, I wish more women did this for one another. One of my favorite parts of the movie Isn’t It Romantic is Rebel Wilson’s character Natalie explanation why she hated romantic comedies. One of the reasons she gave was because there’s always competition between the female lead and some overly bitchy female in the office. The females are always pitted against one another. They are always SO ugly with one another.Continue reading “Why not fix their crown as you fix our own?”
This morning I knew I had to get up and take a shower. Right now the air in our house is not working so it is a must that I take a shower before bed or in the morning. It depends just how sweaty I get during my walk. Nine times out of ten it is before bed and until our air gets fixed I find it wise to take a shower in the morning too. In the morning I typically have two cats all YO MAMA I NEED ALL THE ATTENTION ON ME BEFORE YOU GO TO WORK. Then of course when I go to cuddle with one of them, Oliver, he looks at me like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! I DID NOT JUMP ON YOU FOR CUDDLES EVEN THOUGH I LAID ON YOUR CHEST. HOW DARE YOU.Continue reading “Morning Showers Brings the Kitties to the Bathroom”
Last time I went to the doctor I did not care for my results. Through the weight gain and my diet my blood sugar levels became elevated far more than they ever have been. Not yet a diabetic, but higher in the prediabetic world than I’ve ever been. My doctor gave suggestions of the numerous things I needed to cut out of my life and the sad part is as he listed them I thought to myself I’ve already cut out most of those out. So I found myself thinking I will just move on to cutting out the sugars I have added in my life and then work on other carbs. I need to get back to eating less carbs and less sugary goodness. Fine. I openly admit the love affair I had with Oreos and Doritos in Fluffy Talk Part Deux and I knew ultimately these changes I needed to make. Fine again. I can do that I told my doctor. I thought this will be easy.Continue reading “Carbs are not my friend, but I love them so”
Trust me I know I’m fluffy is a blog post I made last year. Since then I realized how much I was truly hurting myself. I found myself in a relationship with Doritos and Oreos and it was a great relationship. They were great! Though I have learned once you eat Double Stuffed Oreos you cannot go back to just a regular Oreo. It’s not NEARLY enough cream to satisfy anyone. I learned this lesson because my uncle and dad went shopping and my uncle got the original Oreo. It just makes me sad now. It makes my milk sad!Continue reading “Fluffy Talk Part Deux”
I’ve seen the quote in my image used more with the word man instead of woman. However, I’m taking this and using the woman version to make my point.
Over the past couple of years I have noticed how people are more than happy to steal your power. This would not be a big deal if these people were not lead to steal your happiness. While at the time I would let this get me down or I would find myself dwelling on words said, or words left unsaid, I’ve found this is not acceptable. We create a mindset for ourselves that become detrimental to ourselves. Here’s the tricky part though. Words have so much power. Power that I want to take away from them today through writing this.Continue reading “I’m breaking up with rejection”