Over two weeks I’ve been working on me. We all jokingly say Treat Yourself when it comes to self-care, but what I’ve realized is that it’s far more than that. It’s realizing that as much as we need, and want, to control our lives we cannot control every aspect of it. There’s no possible way to control others actions, we can only choose how we react to them. This seems like a simple life lesson, but it’s not. Most of us inherently want to help. We want to help because we were raised that way. It’s habits we formed over the years. We don’t want people to suffer.Continue reading “The Phrase ‘Treat Yourself’ is Not Just About Material Things”
Any time I’m depressed I tend to go through my life and attempt some sort of self reflection. Regardless of depression or not I feel that this is something important that we should all do at some point or another. We need to know that we’re okay. We need to discover what is bothering us and be able to pinpoint it. If we don’t then this delays us in being able to develop and find coping mechanisms that work for us in order to help us move forward in life. So while I am marching forward and making myself get out of bed each morning I found myself thinking I probably need to go see a therapist. Even though typing out my last entry helped me tremendously, and others which makes me happy but sad others know this pain at the same time, I feel I need more help than just writing it out.Continue reading “Self Reflection is Needed for Everyone”
Lately I feel like I’m not getting enough rest. I went through a period where I wasn’t taking care of myself. Even after talking with my doctor this past July I neglected taking some of my pills. I noticed that I had an influx of pills I had not bothered with and ultimately I think it has affected me far more than not. I should have been to see the doctor again by now but I still have enough pills for one more month. I basically took them on and off so I have about a month and a half worth of pills more than I should have by now. I am thinking of making an appointment for the 29th of this month regardless or at least getting my blood drawn so the following week I can go have an actual appointment.Continue reading “Realities of Depression with a Side of Anxiety”
New year, new you. That’s the saying that most us hate and many us partake in come the new year. I’ve found that I hate resolutions. I don’t see the point in them. I always feel that I set myself up to fail. I don’t know if it this is because in the past I have set one too many resolutions for myself or not, but the fact of the matter is I don’t like the word resolution. According to the dictionary resolution means the following: a firm decision to do or not do something. The action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter. Granted, the word is nothing particularly horrible because in many ways resolutions help us accomplish goals.
Earlier this year I talked about my funk. I haven’t had the courage to write about part of that depression until now. I’m thirty-four years old and not naive that my days of becoming a mother are more limited the older I become. In fact, when I was in my twenties I made a remark that if I did not have kids by the time I was thirty-five I guess I would not have children at all. Needless to say remembering those words coming out of my mouth this year on my birthday was a hard pill to swallow. Maybe that’s part of why mother’s day was so hard for me this year. I attempted to start writing about why mothers should need shown appreciation, and my other mother, earlier this year and could not bring myself to finish the post. Not on Mother’s Day and not because I don’t believe in such. I did not because when you are faced with a uterus who is constantly angry at you and judging you for the lack of child in your womb it is difficult to do so.
I’m not sure why, but for as long as I can remember when upset there is one artist I tend to listen to. I know that most people will assume that artist is Garth Brooks, but oddly enough no. Yes, every now and then there is a combination of the artist I plan on writing about with Garth and others, but the music I always listen to when upset is Alan Jackson. Why? I have no idea. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, but something I remember my mom realizing and pointing out to me once upon a time. I feel oddly better afterward, typically, and as if all of the sadness I’ve been feeling has been sucked from my body and tossed aside. Hopefully not to someone else, but aside nonetheless. Continue reading “Anxiety is a crippling asshole”
I feel like I’ve gone through lulls in my life. Lulls of sickness. I remember a lovely time period, my twenties, where I got sick maybe once a year if that. Other than the time I got the flu I had a great recovery time. Now, I’m not naive in thinking that we still have that amazing recovery time that we did when we were younger. Continue reading “Germs and depression go away, never come back again another day”