You ever go into a month with good intentions? That is what October was for me this year. I was determined I would get up my thirty one reviews for Halloween, write for another site, watch a ton of horror films, do all things spooky oriented, and go to Walker Stalker Con. I will admit I did most of what is above, but at around day fifteen I got so far behind with my thirty one reviews that I felt beyond overwhelmed and I shut down here instead of anywhere else. My apologies for that.
I feel like I ghosted my own site for a couple of days last week. My apologies to all of you. That is mostly due to letting a text I received earlier in the week get to me in ways I never wanted something to affect me. Feeling vulnerable is not easy. People make feeling vulnerable out to be this easy task, but the truth is it’s not. I did not want to speak about the majority of how I felt because admitting those feelings made them true. But the truth is as good as I was feeling, just like that I felt worthless all over again. I felt, and continue to feel, as if I’m not good enough in certain areas of my life. People’s words are far more degrading and condensing than they might intend for them to be and the receiver is often left wondering how to take them. We are left being told that everything will be okay ultimately because the same person who just made us feel this way says so. If only.