Category: anxiety

Damn My Vagina

For some time now, I have had the desire to start a podcast. At first, I was unsure what I wanted to cover. This past year has made me realize a lot of things about myself as well as the world. I cannot help but think there are so many societal pressures on women to have it all. On top of that, so many people write hate to other women online who seemingly do have it all. The crazy part to me is women hating on other women! Some days it feels like there is no way to win as a woman. The more I thought about that, the more I knew I wanted to make something to motivate, inspire, educate, and empower women. I knew I wanted to make something that let women know that they are more than their vaginas!

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Heart and Brain Battles

My exhaustion has taken on a new form this morning. I’m not even sure an IV drip of coffee could make me feel utterly awake today. My cats decided they needed treats super early this morning instead of food. Well, my one cat wanted wet food, which we do give her every morning, but the other just wanted treats and someone awake in the house to sit with him. And I think part of it too is that their night last night was turned as upside down as my own. I had to call 911 on my father again. That’s such a strange sentence to type. I realized that last night as I typed it up on my phone to post on Facebook.

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Alone Can Look Pretty But Not Always

I don’t know what made me want to listen to The Backstreet Boys the other night, but I’m sitting here listening to them again. One album in particular. Their Never Gone album. I’m in such disbelief that it came out in 2005, but this album is by far my favorite album of theirs. Maybe I should listen to their newer albums to make more of a definitive statement, but this album is one I have come back to on many occasions. It puts me in a great headspace, a great mood; everything about it is love. Every time I start listening to it, I can sing along with every song. Today is no different.

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Gnats From Hell

This week everywhere I went in our house, I saw numerous gnats. I kept wondering, “Where the hell are all these little fuckers coming from?!” As some of you might know already, I’ve been decluttering and cleaning, in general, this week. These actions lead me to the gnat issue. Some produce had gone HORRIBLY bad and slid off the back of the stove and onto my dad’s old turntable. As soon as I moved some things back to throw away, a ton of gnats came at me and have been coming ever since. 

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Honestly, I Wanna Be Brave

I think a lot of times, we believe we are stuck when we need that weird push. Or maybe that is just me. That is how the pandemic had me feeling. I felt like I was stuck, and no matter what I tried to accomplish or what job I applied for, my destiny would end up being retail. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it, but if you’ve ever worked retail, you might know what my enthusiasm to go back is lacking currently. For a while, I felt like nothing was going to change. Every writing job I applied for either turned out to be a scam; please be careful on Indeed, or I would never hear back from them.

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Nightmarish Learning Curves

There have been times that I miss college and miss school in general. I think it’s because while there, you’re encouraged to learn. You’re paying to learn at that point, so why would you not gobble up everything there is to offer? There’s no reason not to. The older I get, though, the more I realize that we should always keep learning something. I like having my mind active outside of horror and mystery books sometimes. I have read more self-help books since I entered therapy than I ever thought I’d read in this lifetime. And in the past two weeks, I have watched more tutorials on making a podcast and editing in Audacity than I ever thought I would. However, just because you watch the tutorials does not make you a master overnight. In fact, that learning curve can sometimes kick your ass, as it did me. Let me explain.

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Not All Fluff Is Equal

A while back, I began to follow I Weigh on Instagram. Today I discovered a post from last week that Your Body, Your Image posted on Twitter and Instagram. Earlier in the week, obesity was trending on Twitter. As someone struggling to lose weight, has always struggled to lose weight, this post made me feel great about myself. Because the truth is obesity is a harsh word. It sucks to see, it sucks to hear, and it sucks to say. I hated having that as a reason to get my COVID shot recently. 

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Circle Circle Dot Dot Now I Got My COVID Shot (Dose 1)

If this is the first post of mine you ever read, you should know, I HATE NEEDLES. I cannot stand getting my blood drawn. Every time I get my blood drawn, I have to look at the nearest wall until the blood is drawn. I can talk during this process, and sometimes I make faces if the needle hurts going in, but at the end of the day, I hate needles. They scare the hell out of me. And when it comes to watching blood go into the tubes–that’s one big nope! That is also not my cup of tea. 

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