Nightmarish Learning Curves

There have been times that I miss college and miss school in general. I think it’s because while there, you’re encouraged to learn. You’re paying to learn at that point, so why would you not gobble up everything there is to offer? There’s no reason not to. The older I get, though, the more I realize that we should always keep learning something. I like having my mind active outside of horror and mystery books sometimes. I have read more self-help books since I entered therapy than I ever thought I’d read in this lifetime. And in the past two weeks, I have watched more tutorials on making a podcast and editing in Audacity than I ever thought I would. However, just because you watch the tutorials does not make you a master overnight. In fact, that learning curve can sometimes kick your ass, as it did me. Let me explain.

I have chosen Anchor as my podcast platform. It fits in with WordPress, and if I wanted to, I could record all of my previous entries in another voice if I wanted. I’m not, but I could! I might one day record them, so I have them accompany the pieces, but for now, I want to focus on combining these pieces and adding new material. I have known for a long time I wanted to create a podcast. I just didn’t know how to go about it, let alone find a place that would allow me to do so for free like Anchor! I also knew I needed a microphone, and boy did one of my aunts deliver when it came to that this Christmas.

She got me the Blue Yeti mic, and let me tell you guys, it’s now one of my babies, much like my camera and my desktop computer. My laptop is lagging, and while it’s my baby, it’s not my favorite child anymore. Granted, it’s ten years old at this point, so that poor laptop has been through the wringer, and I shouldn’t give it such a hard time. I’m not naive enough to know that eventually, I’ll have to replace it, but now the desktop will get me through in ways that the laptop cannot. And I have to thank my dad for the desktop. That and the microphone were two of my Christmas gifts this year. Granted, I had to buy a couple of diffusers for the microphone, which I did not know about before, but that was okay!

So in between writing for this blog, I have been writing episodes for my new podcast. And let me tell you guys, this is no joke. Once you decide you want to do this, you need to accept that you need to plan things out and take a HUGE chunk of your day. The beautiful part of this, though, is that I don’t mind that it takes a massive piece of my day. I love it so far. Well, I mostly love it so far. Let me tell you about my mishap the other night that made me want to cry.

There I was at one in the morning. I was feeling SO accomplished because I had completed my first podcast. I had finished the recording. I did what I set out to do that Saturday! I went a little into Sunday, but that was okay because I completed my goal for the day! Then I went to save it, and somehow, I deleted the entire file. Not just a section of it. It was not something I could record quickly again, but my whole day’s work was GONE in seconds. Let me tell you; it’s not a good idea to forge forward sometimes when you’re tired. Rest is as important as completing your own private deadline.

I had missed KEY wording that morning when I went to save and lost everything. I wanted to bawl. I’m not sure how I didn’t, to be honest. After all, listening to Alan Jackson had sent me over the edge earlier this month. I will write more about that later. I immediately messaged some friends because I was distraught. I had worked SO hard that entire day to lose everything. I turned off the fans in the room to record that day and early in the morning to record the additions I wrote that made the podcast complete. And there I was at one in the morning with NOTHING to show for it.

To get this material back, I started trying every small trick I knew to no avail. So I shut down my laptop entirely. I finally took a shower to wash the day off me, used both the sleep and the stress relief, aromatherapy body washes I had in this blending to calm me down. By the time I came back to my phone, one friend had said how sorry she was and my other friend, a fellow fixer, suggested something for me to try in the morning. I agreed and went on for a few minutes to just vent. I had to because if not, it was going to eat me alive.

I also think how many people would have said, “Clearly, this is not meant to be,” at that moment. You should all know, though, I have been knocked off numerous proverbial horses over the years, and I was NOT going to lay down and take this blunder. Okay, well, kinda sorta cause I did lay down to read and clear my mind, but you know what I mean! Besides, continued learning can lead to moments you will not want to forge forward, but remember that failure is part of the process. The next day I got up, and I recorded everything. I did it as one continuous thing that I would have to edit later. Whenever I hated how I sounded, I chalked it up to these mistakes will go on the blooper reel somewhere and started over. And I knocked it out of the park. I have completed the recording part AGAIN.

I even managed to edit the entire podcast how I wanted that evening. I saved it, I backed it up, and then I saved it again! I opened it again to make sure it was still there before sending a voice message to those I shared my woes with the night before I had completed my first episode. Sure, there are still things I want to tweak beforehand, but tweaking is much easier than editing and recording everything TWICE. I feel so productive right now. All of this reminds me that I’m creative and meant to be doing something in that realm. To do something that might help and encourage other women, though, that’s priceless.