Damn My Vagina

For some time now, I have had the desire to start a podcast. At first, I was unsure what I wanted to cover. This past year has made me realize a lot of things about myself as well as the world. I cannot help but think there are so many societal pressures on women to have it all. On top of that, so many people write hate to other women online who seemingly do have it all. The crazy part to me is women hating on other women! Some days it feels like there is no way to win as a woman. The more I thought about that, the more I knew I wanted to make something to motivate, inspire, educate, and empower women. I knew I wanted to make something that let women know that they are more than their vaginas!

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Heart and Brain Battles

My exhaustion has taken on a new form this morning. I’m not even sure an IV drip of coffee could make me feel utterly awake today. My cats decided they needed treats super early this morning instead of food. Well, my one cat wanted wet food, which we do give her every morning, but the other just wanted treats and someone awake in the house to sit with him. And I think part of it too is that their night last night was turned as upside down as my own. I had to call 911 on my father again. That’s such a strange sentence to type. I realized that last night as I typed it up on my phone to post on Facebook.

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A Desk Kicked My Ass

I’m exhausted. I took some melatonin last night because I knew that sleep would not come easy for me. I was so tired Friday evening when I laid down I slept until noon on Saturday. I did this after refusing to get up at ten like I had scheduled myself for ultimately. That was because, on Friday, I got up at 5:30 because of the cats. They needed food. I can’t and don’t begrudge them that, of course, but when you are not used to getting up that early, and you did not get into bed at a decent hour because you’re trying to build and make something more for yourself, it’s exhausting.

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Gnats From Hell

This week everywhere I went in our house, I saw numerous gnats. I kept wondering, “Where the hell are all these little fuckers coming from?!” As some of you might know already, I’ve been decluttering and cleaning, in general, this week. These actions lead me to the gnat issue. Some produce had gone HORRIBLY bad and slid off the back of the stove and onto my dad’s old turntable. As soon as I moved some things back to throw away, a ton of gnats came at me and have been coming ever since. 

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About Last Night

I have spent the better part of this past week decluttering in some manner and cleaning almost every single day. The truth is, I am going to be doing that again this week too but on a lesser scale. To say I’m tired when I lay down is the understatement of the year so far. However, Sunday night, around 12:30 in the morning, I noticed a light out of the corner of my eye. This light came from my dad’s room as I heard him moving around. As soon as I noticed this, I laid down my tablet and asked him if he were okay. He told me no.

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Growing Pains of the Lina Lamont Variety

The other day, I wrote about the nightmarish learning curves I was dealing with while trying to make my podcast dreams a reality! On a side-note, nothing corrected nightmareish for me until today and told me that it really should be nightmarish. So I’m over here facepalming for that as well as I write this. Thank God for the slay playlist my friend Manda made of what feels like thousands of insanely talented women. Seriously, it is getting me through this as well, as I’ve spent at least ten hours the past two days cleaning. 

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Nightmarish Learning Curves

There have been times that I miss college and miss school in general. I think it’s because while there, you’re encouraged to learn. You’re paying to learn at that point, so why would you not gobble up everything there is to offer? There’s no reason not to. The older I get, though, the more I realize that we should always keep learning something. I like having my mind active outside of horror and mystery books sometimes. I have read more self-help books since I entered therapy than I ever thought I’d read in this lifetime. And in the past two weeks, I have watched more tutorials on making a podcast and editing in Audacity than I ever thought I would. However, just because you watch the tutorials does not make you a master overnight. In fact, that learning curve can sometimes kick your ass, as it did me. Let me explain.

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Fasten your seat belts, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride

I feel like I’m in one of those television episodes where the day keeps starting over, and each character gives you a different perspective of what occurred that day. Except, in this case, it’s the last twenty hours. I took one of my uncles and my father to urgent care last night. And I thought once I got home, that would be it. I thought my drama for the next couple of days was done. No more. Boy, was I fucking wrong. It’s like life essentially laughed in my face and yelled, “HOLD MY BEER,” while proceeding to wonder just how much I could take the next twelve hours. Let me tell you. I don’t know if that is much more, and that’s the damn truth. Insert your trigger warning here cause it’s been a hell of a day folks.

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When words are both true and kind they can change the world

I read the quote and title above earlier, making me feel like more of a Buddahist than ever. Before the hurricane-force winds and storm-ravaged Georgia last week, my goal was to write a post about the importance of voting. The importance of showing where you stand and what you believe in ultimately. This week has changed my desire to do that as we move on from it. Plus, other people’s words have brought different thoughts to the forefront too.

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