My friend will kill your cat in the zombie apocalypse

Since one my friends has started watching The Walking Dead we tend to put ourselves in zombie apocalypse scenarios.  Obviously we would kick ass and take names and survive it!  Duh! Just so you all know I will be at one of my cousin’s houses, which will require me to travel around a mountain to get there, ’cause traveling up it scares the bajesus out of me.  My safety will be worth the trip to be with him and his family cause I’m just saying I have faith in him.  The irony in this now that I think about in terms of the show is that his name is Shane.  Don’t worry he won’t actually go all Shane on us.  Wow this has gotten weird and terribly off topic.

King Ezekiel lives!!!!! HE LIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!!

Anyway, and spoiler alert to the latest episode of The Walking Dead if you haven’t seen it, but Shiva dies!  And because of this I told my friend when she had a chance to watch it she would be sad.  Why?  Cause I’m a good friend like that.  Of course this caused her to start guessing who died and she immediately went to Ezekiel.  I confirmed he did not die but then she yells out, “THEY KILLED MY SHIVA DIDN’T THEY?!   NOOO!  NOT SHIVA.”  And of course I grew quiet and did not want to answer her.  This prompted a mini break in our day and she came to talk to me and ask me how Shiva dies.

I told her of course but then it lead to the following conversation:

My cat that my friend wants to throw to the zombies in the apocalypse. Look how sweet this baby is. She said she was going to force feed her because she doesn’t care about her hairballs and that technically her puking up hairballs would distract the zombies too and that when we survive I’ll thank her.

Me: Just so you know, I’m totally taking my cats everywhere in the zombie apocalypse.  I’ll be like Ezekiel but with baby kitties.  I feel that Willow stands the better chances of being a Shiva.

Friend: She should be eaten first.

Me: Technically in terms of which of my cats should be eaten first it should be Oliver because he has more meat on him.  Though if we are going with my animals in general it would be Cocomo because he’s the biggest.  I’d prefer for my pets not to be eaten at all though for the record.

Friend: I would kill your cats in the apocalypse.

Kitty space capsule to keep her safe

Me: You’re going to force me to buy one of those cat space bag things so I can carry them around for fear you will kill them.

Friend: You have to sleep sometime.

Me: Why would you kill my cats?!

This is what the apocalypse is going to look like around my friend.

Friend: If it’s me or your cat being thrown to a hoard of zombies, kitty gotta go!  I’d be taking that damn cat out of your bag and tossing it yelling BYE BITCH.

Me: See now I know that you would kill Willow before Oliver.

Friend: She hates me!

Me: Yeah…yeah she does.

This is close to the look that my cat gives her when she walks through the door most of the time.

And in all fairness my cat does hate my friend.  I did not admit to this or truly notice it until last time she came over.  This was when I noticed my cat legit glaring at her like WHY DID YOU INVITE THIS HEFFER BACK OVER HERE?!  I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH HER!  And then I of course have to explain to my cat later I’ve known her forever and she’s like family and she put her butt promptly in my face as if to tell me to kiss her butt.  Yes, it was rude, but it did not confirm something different in terms of her passionate hate for my friend.  So yeah, if you have cats and want to keep them alive don’t let them near my friend.  Don’t worry I’ll totally sell out her name for the safety of the kitties should the zombies come marching toward your homes.

Also, RIP fictional CGI kitty Shiva.  We shall miss you.


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