I typically attempt being the bigger person. We all have our moments though where that becomes impossible. There is always a breaking point. I’ve had a lot of thoughts on this matter of late. I blame the time of year entirely, where an instance occurred and one of my friendships shattered. This of course brings me back to perception. All stories have two sides. While sometimes seeing both sides of a story is not easy, sometimes people never realize the damage they have done either until it’s to late. Once that trust is lost, nine times out of ten the damage is irreversible.
Friendships are a give and take. Over time, we sometimes realize that some of these friendships were a bit more toxic in hindsight. And I’ve always believed that sometimes people exit our lives for a reason. The friendships that stand the test of time will. Those are the ones where we can go months without talking to each other, sometimes even years and nothing changes. Ultimately though when push comes to shove we are always there for one another when the going gets tough. Even if our own lives do not always let being their in person this does not mean our words are not genuine and that we truly want the best for our friends.
None of us are perfect. We are all going to offend one another over time. We will be upset with one another because we are all unique. Those are the moments talks need to take place or resentment builds up. Resentment is not needed if we are just honest with each other. We should always attempt to understand any and all relationships better. However, I have noticed the older I get the less people seem interested in the truth if it does not fit their own agenda. Instead they would rather create drama where none existed in the first place. This is when the time comes where we know maintaining that friendship is doing us more harm than good.
Yet we still find ourselves mulling over what is best for the friendship once that toxicity appears instead of what is ultimately best for us. We know we’ve tried our best. We know deep down that there is nothing more we can do, yet we continue to hold on because these friendships ultimately they make us comfortable. The truth is by keeping these friendships we sometimes lose ourselves. And most of the time until we can let go and realize just how big of a bitch hindsight is only when we discover just how toxic those relationships were to our psyches.
The thing about friendships is we are always willing to give people a second chance and in all fairness we should. If we were willing to toss away everything the moment something goes wrong we would be left standing alone on some steps somewhere. Sometimes though we realize just how little people cared for us in the first place. We learn that instead of being our friends they were making a list to use against us one day. They play the victim and attempt to ruin our reputations in the process. Our side of the story does not matter because there side is the right side. No questioned asked and ultimately our true friends are left standing while the others weed themselves out.
There’s a truth to most people in my opinion. Most people do not have time to sit down and plot against others. Backstabbing is not human nature, nor is manipulating others to make them feel less important. I’m not saying there are not people who enter our lives like that, but they also typically do not let those intentions known. Unfortunately, not everyone is out for our best interests. Being on guard does not make us paranoid, sometimes it saves our sanity.
At the end of the day I read a meme that summed up everything I’ve attempted to say in a nutshell. Sometimes, no matter how nice you are, how kind you are, how caring you are, how loving you are, it just isn’t enough for some people. We were not put on this planet to please everyone and with life being so short, we often times need to come to one conclusion. No matter what anyone else thinks of us we need to take time to care for ourselves. There is nothing selfish about self-preservation. In fact it’s rather important no matter how much letting go can hurt.