Why not fix their crown as you fix our own?

I remember seeing a meme that reminded women to fix the crowns of other women without telling them. This is always something that has stood out to me. I could not help but think, I wish more women did this for one another. One of my favorite parts of the movie Isn’t It Romantic is Rebel Wilson’s character Natalie explanation why she hated romantic comedies. One of the reasons she gave was because there’s always competition between the female lead and some overly bitchy female in the office. The females are always pitted against one another. They are always SO ugly with one another.

As I heard this I began to take a look at most of the romantic comedies I love and in most of them this does occur. The women hate each other for one reason or another. They must compete against each other. In the world of romantic comedies no two powerful and strong women can be friends. There’s no forms of empowerment taking place been two women. The men are always supportive of each other in these films for whatever reason though. This made me wonder why are women pitted against each other? Why do woman mommy shame? Why do women fat shame? Why do women hate other women? I know this isn’t all women, but some women cannot remotely fix anyone’s crown because they have yet to fix their own first.

One of the chapters I read recently in Girl, Wash Your Face mentioned how being there for others can bring you joy. Supporting each other can bring us joy. What a novel concept. Merely being there and showing up! We do not always have to be the center of attention to be a productive member of society. Sometimes we are meant to be each other’s cheerleaders. I feel this is something we do not embrace enough as a society nor as women in general. When I began to start watching motivational videos there were not many women empowering women outside of religious videos or entrepreneurial videos. These videos consisted mostly of men.

I think having both are important, but I think women empowering women is even more important. Women telling other women it’s okay that you’re not the perfect daughter, mother, wife, etc. We are not perfect human beings. We were never meant to be perfect, but we put so much pressure on ourselves and outside influence from social media does not help half of the time. The truth is we present the best version of ourselves on social media not because we want to rub someone’s face in it, though I’m sure some people do that, but because we do not want to admit, or remind ourselves, how depressed we are, or were once upon a time.

We do not want a reminder a year from now saying, “Hey remember that time your radiator blew, you fell in the street and messed up your ankle, and you had a crappy day at work?” True story by the way even though I cannot even remember why that was a bad day at work. I do remember sliding partly down the road which skinned my knee and made my Kelly Clarkson Piece by Piece CD unplayable. It was the insult to injury of my day. While I am choosing to share that, and still remember it, at least I do not remember it every year like clockwork. Just like I do not have a reminder of when my dog passed away. It’s okay not to document everything.

We all have bad days, months, years even. We all need a little help from time to time even if we don’t ask for it. Sometimes we just need to offer up our time for each other even if that will laugh our butts off at whatever comedy is playing at the theater that weekend. The truth is it does not even have to be going out but merely chilling at someone’s house and venting over a drink with a friend. And sometimes, this is the crazy part, we just need to realize that a quick text or merely asking, “How was your day?” or “How was your weekend?” can make someone’s day. Even telling some random person in line at Publix you like their hair can make someone’s day. We have to become nicer. We need to treat each other and ourselves better.

My whole point is we all have moments that we are not proud of. We all cannot shine all the time, but most of us do not set out intentionally to be a horrible person on a daily basis. We should be able to take a second to empower one another. We can be there for each other even in the simplest of ways. We should be there for each other. We should let each other know that its okay. These left me with some big questions to ask myself. Why aren’t more women doing this? When did we decide not to support one another?

There are even bigger and better questions than those though. Why don’t we start supporting each other again? Why can’t we appreciate the success of others? Why don’t we truly treat others how we want to be treated? Better yet, why don’t we treat ourselves better while treating each other how we treat ourselves. The last one isn’t so much a question as it is a request. Start seeing yourself as powerful. Look in the mirror and express the real you and then showcase that to the world. We are worth it. We deserve respect. We must be there for each other and we must up our games for ourselves.